01.14.10
Posted in Ancona, Newsletters, Team, church, culture, family, kids, ministry
at 4:00 am
I just realized that I typed “Volume 8 — Issue 1” on the byline of our most recent newsletter. How is that possible? Is this really the eighth year of sending out newsletters?
A lot has happened over the years. We spent over two years in the US raising support for our work in Ancona. What an experience that was – easily the most faith-stretching experience of our lives.
Then we moved to Perugia to study Italian. We enrolled in a small language school and tried to train our mouths to make all the weird sounds we heard all around us. We also adapted to the Italian rhythm of life, and enrolled our two oldest kids in school. What an experience that was – easily the most faith-stretching experience of our lives.
Next we moved to Ancona and started to dip our toes into life on a team. We learned all the reasons why working on a team is such a great thing, and we also learned why it can be a really challenging thing. The Italian culture started to feel a bit more familiar to us, but things were still new and scary sometimes. Moving to Ancona and working on a team was a great experience – easily the most faith-stretching experience of our lives.
After our first furlough, we came back to Ancona with a new confidence. The language wasn’t quite so difficult. Our kids were doing pretty well in school. We even had a baby in Ancona. Our team leader asked us to be the interim team leader for six months while he was in the US. What an experience that was – easily the most faith-stretching experience of our lives.
Just before our second furlough our landlord gave us six months to move out of her apartment, and we were faced with finding a new place and completely furnishing it with absolutely no way to pay for it. What an experience that was – easily the most faith-stretching experience of our lives.
Which brings us more or less to the present day. We still get our faith stretched on a regular basis. God still pulls us through despite our doubts, and shows us how faithful He is to us.
And through it all, He’s forming a church in Ancona. Sometimes He uses us, and sometimes He does an end-run and brings people to us that we never would have even met. He molds us and shapes us and chips away at our rough edges until we become more and more like Him.
And to think. It’s only taken seven years so far…
Thanks for sticking with us.
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05.16.09
Posted in family, kids, parenting
at 2:27 am
I know this blog is normally about ministry things, but I wanted to change focus a bit and ask for some parenting advice.
A couple of weeks ago my kids were playing at a park just down the street from our house. We let them go there all the time by themselves. It’s nice to have someplace for the kids to get out their wiggles. Our oldest daughter comes running back and tells us that she found €89 ($114) in some long grass by a tree at the park. I couldn’t believe it.
At first I was hesitant to let the kids spend it. I thought briefly about contacting some of our neighbors to see if anyone lost money, but there are easily 100 apartments surrounding the park. We were headed to the city fair that night, so I just shrugged my shoulders and said to my daughter that she could keep it.
That’s when the trouble started. Apparently she had told her brothers that she wanted to split the money with them. She found it, but they were all there playing. But when it came time to actually giving the money away, she choked and told the boys never mind. I sat her down in the middle of the fair and told her that it absolutely was her money. Finders keepers. But she told the boys something that they were counting on and were already excited about. And I told her she needed to decide right then and there what she was going to do and then stand by her decision. She really struggled and finally split the money with the boys. I was proud. Our youngest bought a little toy helicopter which he loves and I pulled my daughter aside and said, “You made it possible for him to be so happy.” I patted myself on the back for my smooth parenting skills.
The next day, the kids go to the park. And this time they find €100 ($135)! It was in a slightly different place, but somewhere that they said they looked the day before. For some reason alarm bells start going off. I don’t think kidnappers try and bait children with cash, but my mind cannot figure out how someone could lose so much money. This time I tell the kids we’re going to hold on to the money for one week. We’re going to keep an eye out to see if anyone posts a sign saying they lost some money. If nothing happens, the kids can keep the money.
And of course, nothing happens. One week goes by and the kids start asking when they can have the money. So we sit down at lunch and we start talking about how to handle such a big blessing. I talked about how their mom and I like to give some of our paychecks to the church. And how we try and save a little for emergencies. But what bothers me is that I start to see greed building up in their little minds. Our daughter tries again to tell the boys that she found the money and it’s all hers. The boys complain because she said she would share. In my mind I’m thinking that this money is just too much for them. They’re used to their €2 a week allowance, and they just aren’t mature enough for such a windfall. They start talking about the junky toys they want to buy (kind of a pet peeve of mine – I hate cheap plastic toys that break in a week). Our daughter takes the money off my desk because she knows we have to go to a toy store to buy a birthday present for a friend. She didn’t steal the money, but she just assumed (incorrectly) that we were done talking about it and the money was theirs.
So what’s a parent to do? Should I let the kids blow the money? Is it OK to just treat this as a little blessing from God? Do I make them save some and give some and them use the rest as they want? How can I snuff out the greed that this “blessing” has caused? What lessons can I help them learn? I’d love the hear what you think…
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03.24.09
Posted in Ancona, family, kids
at 4:16 pm
Around 3 PM this afternoon Heidi called me to say that the water was out. I got home around 4 PM, checked with our upstairs neighboor who said she didn’t have any water either, and called the water company. They played a recorded message saying that they were aware of the problem and things should be up and running around 8 PM.
Later in the evening, Chloe and I were driving around and she was asking when the water would be fixed. She stopped mid-sentence and asked, “Dad, if we don’t have water, how will we boil pasta?!”
Couldn’t be more Italian, could she?
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03.21.09
Posted in family, kids
at 7:26 pm
Wednesday of this week was Father’s Day here in Italy. And my kids made little cards and wrote me a letter. Here’s what they said:
Dear Dad:
Here are a few little things about you that I will always remember.
When we watch a movie together, three seconds after the film starts you forget all about it and fall asleep. When we go to the Auchan or Obi, when we leave you always ask if we can go to McDonalds. Every Sunday you make breakfast. And you play on your computer. And you help me with my homework. And we play Xbox together. Sometimes you and I go shopping. You are the dad that all of the kids would like to have!
You’re the best dad in the world!
I love you very much!
Chloe
Dear Dad,
I like it when you go outside and go hiking and sometimes you take me with you. And also when we play together.
Or when it’s Sunday and you make pancakes or the best french toast in the whole world.
It makes me laugh when you wake up early in the morning, and you’re so tired that you seem mad.
I also like it when you take me to the cheap seats and we watch Ancona soccer games.
You really are a great dad.
I love you very much.
Lance
Naturally, this was all in Italian. But no matter what the language, it really made my day.
Aww … shucks …
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01.25.09
Posted in family, friends, kids, leadership
at 5:59 pm
I’m an introvert.
There was a time in my life when I thought that was a character flaw. Introverts don’t like people, right? They’re kind of anti-social and maybe even a little snotty. How can that possibly be a good thing? I once had a friend question whether or not an introvert could even be a missionary.
Then I learned the real definition of introvert. We’re not anti-social and snotty. We like people just as much as extroverts. But the difference is that being around people is draining for introverts. It makes us tired. Extroverts come home from a party excitedly talking about all the great conversations they had. Introverts would rather drive home in silence, ready to slip into bed. One time after church my wife was asking me all kinds of questions about things that had happened, and I finally had to sheepishly admit that I was out of words – I honestly didn’t have it in me to have any more conversation!
This week has been full of meetings. And the kids have needed a little more attention than usual. And being the interim team leader means people turn their head and look at me during a meeting when it’s decision time. Which all adds up to a very tired introvert. When I saw being an introvert as a bad thing, it also would have added up to a lot of guilt. “Maybe introverts really shouldn’t be missionaries?” I would think. Now I see it as a part of me being me. I need to take some time to get recharged before I drain all the way to zero. Staying at zero too long often leads to bad things.
It’s a good thing to start to feel comfortable with the personality that God gave me.
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01.11.09
Posted in culture, family, health care, kids
at 9:55 am
Everything is cultural. Every now and then I start to think that surely there must be some universal truths that are true for everyone in every culture. Like raising an infant. There have to be some dos and don’ts, right?
Wrong! Our kids’ pediatrician is teaching us that. Around Francesca’s five month check up, she hands Heidi a badly photocopied recipe called: Diet from the 6th Month. Here it is:
Make a vegetable puree with:
one potato, one carrot, one zucchini, one onion, and either some Swiss chard or celery.
Take 2-3 tablespoonfuls of the vegetable puree and add:
2 teaspoonfuls of extra virgin olive oil
2 teaspoonfuls of aged Parmesan cheese
3-4 tablespoonfuls of multi grain cereal or baby pasta
10 grams of powdered meat or 60 grams of pureed meat
And so once a day for lunch, that’s what Francesca eats. For dinner, we substitute ricotta cheese instead of the meat. Starting with the seventh month we add fish instead of meat. And from seven and a half months we add ham. And then month eight brings beans (surely we’ll notice the effects of that!).
We raised three kids in America, and I don’t ever remember boiling an onion or Swiss chard for the babies lunch. I can’t think of any pediatrician that recommends ricotta or Parmesan cheese for a six month old. But we tried it, and she loves it. No gas or tummy aches from the onion. The pureed meat is just fine.
And it all proves that everything – even what we feed our kids – is completely influenced by what everyone around us does.
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08.22.08
Posted in family, kids
at 10:25 am
For the first time since moving to Italy, we needed to head to the American Embassy. Americans who have kids abroad need to go there to register their child’s birth and get a fancy “Report of Birth Abroad” form.
We checked in right on time for the appointment, and gave the helpful clerk all of the forms we needed. She had us sit down and wait until the vice-consulate called us. Not long after, he called us to his window. He said he had no problem approving our application for our newborn’s citizenship. He signed a paper, looked at us, and said, “Now she’s an American citizen.”
And I got a little misty eyed. I was a little amazed that this man could grant (and I suppose deny) citizenship with the stroke of a pen. And I was also proud that my daughter was officially part of the country that I am proud to be a part of. Living in Italy has given me a new perspective on my home country, and perhaps the voices around me have emphasized some of its flaws. But I’m still 100% American.
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07.17.08
Posted in Ancona, Uncategorized, church, family, friends, photography
at 4:34 am
We have a group of 15 university students from College Heights Christian Church here in Ancona right now. They’ve been a great group, really ready to dive in and experience the culture and learn about our church.
On Monday, they hosted a day at the beach. They invited people they had met and we also invited the church to come and enjoy hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill (something that few of them had ever experienced).
It rained off and on all day, and after weeks of hot, humid weather, it was cool and windy. Just about dinner time, some church members showed up, and we got the grill going.
That’s when the storm clouds rolled in. The owner of the beach let us use his outdoor seating, which had a roof. We started seeing lightning hitting the ocean near us. And then, all of the sudden, it hailed on us. Ice was bouncing off the roof and into the area where we were seated. We quickly moved the food out of the rain, and took shelter under an awning. One of our church members said he had never seen hail before! And about 10 minutes later, it all stopped. We shook our head and laughed at the horrible weather for beach day.
And then we noticed the rainbow:
I’ve never seen a rainbow so large before! It was a full semi-circle that went into the sea on one side, and up and over the city of Ancona. I tried to stitch two pictures together above to give you an idea of how big it was.
God has the best endings.
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07.12.08
Posted in Ancona, culture, family
at 10:19 am
We’re in the middle of an apartment search. Unfortunately, our landlord needs her apartment back and has given us six months to get out. It’s not the best timing, but we’re doing our best to stay positive about things.
A realtor called me back today. I had called to inquire about an apartment, and she had a few others that might work. She described several which sounded good, and she said she would contact the landlords for me to set up the appointments.
An hour or so later she called. One of the landlords was nervous renting to a foreigner, and wanted to know what I did for a living and would only make an appointment if I could show proof of income. Neither of these things is illegal, unless she only requires these things from foreigners.
Neither the landlord nor the realtor has ever seen me. My accent on the phone was enough to tip them off. Unfortunately, I’ve seen countless examples of racism here. I’ve been in many a conversation where the subject of “those darn stranieri” gets brought up. I usually listen and then point out that I, too, am a straniero. At which point they quickly point out that I’m not the kind of straniero they’re talking about. They mean those stranieri that don’t have the same color skin as they do.
I know my little confrontration with racism was just that – very minor. And I imagine the landlord will apologize all over himself when they realize that they asked the “good kind of foreigner” for proof of income. But I can see where a bunch of seemingly little examples like this could build up over time and cause a whole lot of tension.
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07.08.08
Posted in Ancona, family
at 10:17 am
Today we were pleasantly suprised to get a note in the mail from the mayor of Ancona, Fabio Sturani. I’m pretty sure that’s his actual signature. “Benevenuto al nuovo cittadino” – Welcome to the new citizen.
I know … you’re probably jealous.
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