04.16.08
The Vast Minority
I ran across a surprising statistic the other day. We’ve long known that our family size of five made us more than a little unusual here in Ancona. Now we have a handy graphic to prove it, published by the city of Ancona. So in a couple of months when the new baby is born, we’ll join the other 420 families with more than five people present in the home. Only 420 in a city of over 100,000! At our kids’ schools, the majority of people have one, two kids at the most. The national average is 1.2 kids per family.
But it’s not just statistics that show how children are viewed by some here. I had a conversation the other day with a woman a bit older than me. She was married with one kid and marveled at how young I am and how many kids we have (we get that a lot). And then she said to me that if she had it to do all over again, she wouldn’t have had any children. She told me her son tries her patience, and “if she knew then what she knows now…”
I was kind of shocked. Granted, there have been days when the kids are grating on my nerves. But to wish that they had never been born?!
I’m trying to figure out where this comes from. Some of it, at least in people I have talked with that “regret” having kids, is just plain selfishness. Some of it comes from an inability to provide every single thing the child could ever want, especially as the family grows. But other than those two things, I’m stumped. I love my kids! I have learned so much about myself, and they bless my socks off! It breaks my heart to hear people (one time, in front of their child) lament ever having kids.
Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?- Psalm 127:3 (MSG)
sqjtaipei said,
04.16.08 at 11:58 pm
great post Brian –
That chart is really quite amazing. We run into the *same* thing here in Taiwan and I’m continually blown away by the comments people make about their own kids. One of the most sad things is that most Taiwanese assume that our large family and supposed skill as parents is *cultural* and *genetic* eg. Americans have big families because they are genetically programmed to do so. For them it is also the reason why they are BLOWN AWAY when they hear my kids speak flawless Chinese… “How can they talk like that? They aren’t Chinese! You must have Chinese ancestors.” Seriously.
Kids are a blast. Of course I don’t get much else done except play with and train my kids… but perhaps the Lord will give me time to do some of those less important things later… at that time I’ll probably be wishing my kids were bugging me all the time…
Naomi said,
04.17.08 at 1:32 am
Here there is often the same sentiment, even though people have large families. In their eyes, why would you be happy about another mouth to feed, especially if you already have a couple boys.