06.30.07

The line between life and death

Posted in family, kids at 8:43 pm

The difference between my dad on Tuesday and my dad on Wednesday was obvious in some ways and invisible in others. After the accident, he was quickly put on a ventilator to keep his lungs inflated (I never really heard the exact number of broken ribs he had). Despite the medication to keep him relaxed, he still wiggled his toes when we tickled his feet. His brain wave monitor would go up when he heard our voices. And it went way up when the nurses gave him a bath (gross, I know). He showed all the normal reflexes. So in some way we knew that despite the sedation and injuries, he was in there somewhere.

But in the early morning on Wednesday, a clot blocked all blood flow to his brain. And all of the feet wiggling and brain waves were gone. The machines may have been breathing for him just like before. His heart was beating (with blood pressure better than mine!). But everything that made him “Dad” was gone.

Isn’t that the definition of a soul?

The kids had lots of questions for us. There were very few visible differences for them to define as their living grandpa and their not-living grandpa. And I struggled to explain to them that even though his heart beat and his lungs moved in and out, Grandpa wasn’t there anymore.

It’s a strange thing how subtle a difference there is between those two phases. James knew what he was saying:

¹³Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” —James 4:13-15

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